Do you know how much it sucks to just sit here and watch everyone have the time of their life when you’re here trying to find a future for yourself. Watching everyone just looking for fun and not even giving one fuck about school or anything like that. Something that they’ve worked on for how many years and now what, give it all up just to have fun.
It’s funny. You left telling me that I had so many friends, that I’d do just fine without you. But, ever since you’ve left, life has gone downhill. I thought it was getting better, but I guess I just got to the top of the roller coaster to just keep falling. Ever since you left I have had no friends. People hang out with me because they feel sorry for me. I don’t want that in my life. It’s come to the point where I don’t give a fuck about anyone. That if I sat there and watched someone get hurt, I wouldn’t even care anymore. I don’t want this feeling anymore, and honestly telling people about my life and what I’ve gone through, it makes me go back to the days of when I was depressed. I don’t want this feeling anymore. There’s people in my life that are there for me. But in my mind, I am constantly thinking that they’re only doing this to me because I don’t have anyone. Maybe they’re not like that, but my mind will continue to think like that.I don’t want this feeling anymore. Of being depressed. Of being alone. Someone please take it away from me.